Boogie Nights (1997) dir. Paul Thomas Anderson

Boogie Nights: 9.2/10

This is by far Mark Wahlberg’s best role. If there ever comes a time when we look back and pay tribute to Mark Wahlberg, the highlights would refer to this gem right here. The film itself is star-studded as it also featured John C. Reilly, Burt Reynolds, Julianne Moore, Heather Graham (my white celebrity crush), Philip Seymour Hoffman (one of my favorite comedic actors), Don Cheadle, and Luis Guzman. Where do I begin with this film…The acting is top-notch, there are so many laughs, so many gripping moments, it’s super quotable, and it’s a freakin’ movie about porn stars (what’s not to love?). Go watch it already if you haven’t.

John C. Reilly is just classic John C. Reilly. Funny, obnoxious as hell, and those silly facial expressions of his just get me every time. Maybe his face just looks funny even without the expressions. Oh and his hair is squiggly like he glued some pubes on his head. Philip Seymour Hoffman is classic Philip Seymour Hoffman. Funny, awkward, creepy, and he’s a fucking idiot (movie reference). 

P.S. If my lazy review of the film didn’t convince you to watch it, well Heather Graham is nude in it and so is Julianne Moore along with a few others. 

P.P.S. There’s no way Mark is packing that 13-inch shit. It’s the size of my arm haha.

Sideways, dir. Alexander Payne (2004)

“Um, it’s a hard grape to grow, as you know. Right? It’s uh, it’s thin-skinned, temperamental, ripens early. It’s, you know, it’s not a survivor like Cabernet, which can just grow anywhere and uh, thrive even when it’s neglected. No, Pinot needs constant care and attention. You know? And in fact it can only grow in these really specific, little, tucked away corners of the world. And, and only the most patient and nurturing of growers can do it, really. Only somebody who really takes the time to understand Pinot’s potential can then coax it into its fullest expression. Then, I mean, oh its flavors, they’re just the most haunting and brilliant and thrilling and subtle and… ancient on the planet.”

This recent binge of food movies for me has been awesome. Every single food movie I’ve watched has been amazing. This one doesn’t even really qualify or shouldn’t qualify for a food movie, but it’s the best I’ve seen yet from this binge. It’s about wine, but more importantly, about a poor guy, Miles, going through a divorce and after 2 years, still isn’t over it. He takes his friend on a week-long vacation through California vineyards to let loose and taste wine. He’s a wine snob who eventually meets someone new who loves wine just as much as he does. That’s the dream right? Meeting a pretty girl who shares the same passion as you? Well to me it pretty much is, anyway. His friend, Jack, is the polar opposite of him. That funny, selfish friend that’s just out to get laid before his wedding. This is basically the premise of a Top 10 favorite movie of mine, Swingers, except Sideways has much more substance and depth. Swingers is the type of movie you’d easily get into if you flipped channels and watched it on TV, but Sideways is the movie you end up cherishing. 

If you have any taste for wine, humor, or even if you’ve gone through a bad divorce or break-up and haven’t been well off since, you should definitely watch this excellently written and directed film. You’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, you’ll feel awkward at times, and you’ll surely be glad you watched it. Now excuse me, I’m gonna go fetch a bottle of Pinot Noir and see what the big fuss is about. 

SIDEWAYS: 9.7/10

It’s strange how fickle your view of someone can be…

Not that long ago, I wasn’t even on speaking terms with my younger brother. Somewhere between 2 or 3 years ago, I actually hated him. He probably hated me too or was just indifferent to it all. Either way, we could have spent a whole day next to or around each other and we wouldn’t even say a word to each other. I couldn’t stand the person he became in high school and it led to us basically shunning each other. If it wasn’t for one Christmas vacation where we were forced to sit with each other through a plane ride to Oakland, CA (to visit our extended family), we might have never ended up talking again. I remember thinking: “I really don’t want to let this plane ride together be awkward, I should say something or make conversation.” I did, and then we reconnected after roughly 4 years of contempt for each other.

Fast forward to where we are now. We constantly eat together, basically eating buddies I guess. I already knew this, but in terms of interests, we are actually very similar. We also share a similar sense of humor. We can quote all the same shows such as Spongebob Squarepants, The Simpsons, and Adam Sandler movies (mainly 90s ones) that we grew up watching together. We even both like to make fun of our mom in various ways. We share a keen taste for music also. We don’t necessarily like the same music, but I feel like we’re both fairly knowledgeable and specific in what we choose to listen to. I’m more of an indie hipster, the kind that pokes fun at hipsters and how lame they are. I don’t know what that’s called, but I’ll admit I’m some kind of hipster in a hypocritical and ironic way. He is just a straight up metal-head. He’s a bassist for a metal band that draws influences from those popular heavy metal bands: Iron Maiden, Megadeth, Metallica…your typical garden variety. I do respect his taste in music because he is opinionated and we both share this somewhat snobby attitude towards others when it comes to music and constantly cringe at our peers for lame opinions…you know, the typical judging of someone who boasts about a shitty album or pretending to like a band that one clearly has no interest in. The aspects of our bond primarily lie around these 3 main things: our relationship with our mother, NFL football, and our appreciation for food. 

This past weekend, we went down to San Diego, CA to indulge in the latter two things. I had bought us both tickets to see the San Diego Chargers play the Carolina Panthers. My brother and I both think the Chargers are a lame team with painfully mediocre players, but we like Cam Newton (Panthers’ QB) and thought it would be awesome to watch him run train on these scrubs. That’s exactly what happened, the Panthers destroyed the Chargers in a blowout. Originally, our seats were for the upper level (the highest/farthest possible seats). I fucked up and read it wrong and thought I got a slick deal, don’t judge me. All we had to do was come to the game early and walk in (so they assume you’re just taking pictures and soaking in the scenery of the lower levels) and sit down at an empty seat. No one in our whole entire row even showed up for the game so everything went smoothly heheh. Basically we had extreme upgrades, otherwise we would have been bummed out about not being able to see anything. The game was a great experience because it was our first live football game and we had awesome new seats. 

After the game, we were starving because we hadn’t eaten all day. I had planned to go to Phil’s BBQ for over a year ever since I first tried it. They’re the only ribs I actually like to eat. We pigged the fuck out big time after a long ass wait in line. FULL RACK OF BEEF RIBS WITH MACARONI SALAD AND FRIES FOR ME. FULL RACK OF PORK RIBS WITH POTATO SALAD AND MACARONI SALAD FOR HIM. AN ORDER OF COLOSSAL ONION RINGS FOR THE BOTH OF US TO MUNCH ON. Yah, we definitely weren’t starving after finishing most of it (we can eat a lot). I let him try the Beef Ribs because they were frickin’ amazing. He let me know that he liked mine a lot more than his so I let him have pretty much half of mine in return for some Macaroni Salad.

I’ve been going through a binge of movies that are centered around food. Tampopo, God of Cookery, Ratatouille, are among some of my favorites. I went through a list for another one to watch, and next on my list was a film called Big Night. I wanted a sneak peek of what the movie was about so I checked out YouTube for a clip of what turns out is the ending scene (whoops). Basically what happens in this scene is two conflicted brothers are drawn together upon realizing that no matter what, they are brothers and bonded by blood. The older brother cooks an omelette for the younger brother and I can’t help but reflect on my relationship with my own brother (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oerP7FRMWa8). I haven’t even seen this film yet, and I’m sure I haven’t quite absorbed the intensity or the emotions going on in the scene, but I will once my torrent is done. Never underestimate the importance and bonding power of food, interests, and hobbies. These things matter, folks.