#if i do acid again i'm gonna watch this on it #drugs #acid #lsd #animation #visuals
“I’m not some top 40 song, easily digestible. I’m complex, and require multiple listens. I’m Stairway to Heaven.”
- Ted Mosby
new york knicks
san jose sharks
girls with personality
Last night, I randomly decided to go see Fujiya & Miyagi at the Bootleg Theater. One of the opening bands was L.A. Girlfriend and I could’ve sworn I heard about them before so I checked out the band during the day. Turns out they’re a really poppy and synthy band that’s headed by Sydney Banta. She’s really cool, fun, and eccentric. In a nutshell, she slightly reminds me of:
Anyways, last night she really poured her heart out during the set. She told the limited audience a story about her personal life, which was basically how the last month of her life was really difficult. Supposedly she had her heart “broken into the smallest of pieces” after a failed relationship and that she expressed her deepest appreciation for all 15-20 people who showed up to see her. Damn if I had my heartbroken and all that shit I could definitely not play a show in front of a crowd (no matter how small) and I could definitely not openly tell people about it. She actually teared up as she was telling her story and I could really empathize with what she’s going through. All of a sudden I just wanted her band to succeed. She deserves it. Her music is good too and the quality of the band should definitely draw more fans. I really wish L.A. Girlfriend the best and hope they become successful. The music industry wouldn’t hurt to have honest, hardworking musicians who genuinely express themselves. I can really see how her music is a strong expression of her personality and she definitely wears her heart on her sleeve. Honestly, I think it takes so much courage and strength to tell a group of strangers about your personal life and I really admire her for that. I couldn’t do it. I’m just an asshole that felt guilty after downloading her album prior to the show for free off bandcamp where you name your price to pay for the album. But I put $0. I’ll hang my head in shame as I write the rest of this (but hey I’m poor too ok).
I went to the show with a friend and to be frank, I think I can’t really hang out with him anymore. He’s a nice guy on the surface, but there’s just too much about him that bothers me. I don’t like how desperate he is for getting laid because it really turns him into a sleazebag. He’s done some things that I would never do and don’t approve of at all. On top of that, he’s really annoying to me. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone so annoying. But then it’s not just because he talks too fucking much. If we were talking about topics we were both mutually interested in, that’s fine, but he always talks about literally anything that crosses his mind. He has to let me know of every single observation he makes. He has to always be talking and like dude, I can’t enjoy sports events or music events with this constant headache yapping away in my ear. It really doesn’t help that he’s on different wavelengths as I am. I just like to chill and smoke and talk at a normal pace without ever forcing conversation. Not this guy. He is the opposite of that to me. He prefers drinking and basically his drugs of choice would be anything that causes him to be more energetic and uppity. Now imagine I’m at a show while the band is playing their set and I’m stoned like a rock over here in my own head. He’s drunk as hell and energetic again and talking about random shit that you can’t understand anyway because of the noise. Imagine this throughout the night constantly barraging your ears with nonsensical jibber jabber. I’ve sat through countless times where he goes on and on about mundane stuff or about Dungeons and Dragons or League of Legends tournaments (none of these things that I immerse myself in at all) and I tune him out for 45 minutes or more. He literally gives me a headache. I think I’m not the only one who feels this way about him though since he told me a story about how he was at a house roll but he didn’t roll. He took adderall instead and that just made him 5x the uppity guy he is and how the group was so annoyed by him and he basically ruined their vibe and decided to never give him adderall ever again. There’s no sense in hanging onto a friendship if you don’t enjoy their company right? Even if they keep hitting you up? I obliged because I guess there’s a part of me that isn’t a jerk, but I think I’ve straight up run out of all patience in the world. Not really gonna hang with him anymore, and last night (I owed him so I bought tix to this show for us) proved to me yet again that I can’t stand him at all. It’s something I learn and relearn every time I do.
I really slipped up on math lately. I don’t even remember how confident or not confident I was about Calculus heading into it. I think I was optimistically hopeful and that led me to think I could actually pass this class. It’s looking incredibly bleak now after that last test bombing. Let’s just say if grading systems didn’t end at F, I think I probably ended up with an X or so… whatever 20/100 would equate to. I’m still not going to give up and I’m going to absorb as much as I can, but next time around (if I even bother) I’ll be more prepared to pass. I missed class 3 times outta 3 times this week so far. I didn’t plan it this way though. Twice I legitimately planned to go to class, but twice I woke up late because either my phone (alarm) died for no good reason since it was charged before I slept, or I just slept through it and didn’t hear it. Two days ago I woke up on time, but I remember quickly thinking “nope not happening today.” I really shouldn’t have missed today, but I will for sure go tomorrow. I looked online and it looks like he announced Chapter 3 Test is in less than a week (Wednesday) and I know nothing from even Chapter 2. I’m so fucked. I’m gonna start studying after I type this out, but I’ve just about lost all morale for this class and I feel incredibly hopeless.
On a brighter note, my friends and I got together to do our annual NBA Fantasy Hoops draft. It’s like one of a few times a year that I hang out with my high school friends, who I think are a silly and fun group of dudes. They upped the buy in to $50 this year, which means 1st place gets $550. Sure, winning and even just playing on its own is pretty fun and a good way to distract myself, but the thought of winning $550 for something I enjoy doing anyway just has a special place in my heart.
I’ve been so outta shape lately. All that ice cream and cookies and whatever finally caught up to me. I’ve cleaned up my diet a bit this past week and I even went back to the gym. I’m gonna just lift twice this week and twice next week. I kinda wanna bulk up a little and then start cutting after. I’m gonna try to get back into basketball shape; this is getting ridiculous. My goal is to drop to 180 by the end of the year. If I can’t even do that, I essentially did nothing productive with my life this year.@3 days ago